The Secret Life of Morgan Davis

Original Artist: Ben Folds

His wife is tired, she wants to sleep
But all that Morgan Davis wants is Cream of Wheat
He waits and when she turns out the lights
He tiptoes through the darkness and steps into the night

This boring life that he leads
of buying and selling stocks
makes him feel
He's growing old and tired
There's no joy, no strife
Just the passing time
in this boring life

He wants the lights, the jazz,
A piece of ass
A toothless bitch to blow him for a vial of crack
He cooks his junk in some Gatorade
And scores a bag of chronic on the East MLK

This secret life that he leads
of buying and selling drugs
keeps him up at night
He's selling hash
Screwing trailer trash
Hes making cash
It's a whoring life

"My friends are all salesman, my wife is a slut!
There must be something bigger I can stick in my butt!
The IRS is auditing, my life is in a rut!"

And so he's fired his heat
He's blown his blow
It's comin' up on sunrise and its time to go
He smells like barf
His hair's a mess
He wipes the coke and lipstick off his fat, hairy chest

He stumbles home from a lezzie show,
He will be at work in an hour or so
He crawls in bedwith his sleeping wife
Just a night to break up
His boring life.

Stats:

57 known live performances.
First performed: 2001-10-04 - First Avenue, Minneapolis, MN, USA.
Most recently performed: 2015-04-25 - The Sinclair, Cambridge, MA, US.