Movies Kick Ass

Original Artist: Ben Folds

I remember when I was a child
I used to stand in line at the Matinee
And when the lights went down on my dreams
Came alive on the silver screen
Movies kick ass

Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Wow, Sarah Michelle Geller! What are you doing here?
I'm here to see a movie just like you.

I love the math professors
With the mental disease
I love the plucky blondes
Earning loud degrees
Hobbits and ogres
And Tomb Raiding chicks
And the guy who glued his hand to his-

Dictionaries define movie as
a series of pictures projected in rapid succession
but movies are so much more than that!
Like a live wire hummin' on a space man's car
Milky Way magic on a shooting star
Uh, Jack, I don't think that meant anything
But it makes me want to sing:

Movies kick ass
'Cause they show people having sex
Jousting knights and lightsaber fights
Radioactive arachnid bites
And people
Having sex!
Movies kick ass

Jack! What's wrong?
I'm scared, Sarah,
Scared I'm going to be a bad host.
I mean, look at all these movie stars in the audience tonight.
What if I stink up the joint?

I don't have any answers
And my fears are embodied by these dancers
S-M-G, Won't you help me
I'm so full of insecurity

But Jack, everybody's insecure!
She's right, Jack.
What? Who said that?
Andy Garcia!

You know, Jack, I know of another actor who's very insecure sometimes.
You mean?
No, Brittany Murphy.

Everyone's got insecurities
Everyone gets the blues
But if you can't take it from Andy and me
Take it from Mr. Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise
Didn't wanna sing
I guess he was kind of scared
So c'mon, Jack,
Gather up your nuts, you son of a bitch!

You can find the confidence
If you look deep inside
Just listen up to us movie stars
We would never lie

You're right, movie stars! I can do it!
So let's kick
Some ass
Movies kick serious
Movies kick majorly
Movies kick absolute, total,
and complete...
Ass
Ass
Ah-ah-ah-ass
America!
(Kick ass)
(Movies kick ass)

Stats:

2 known live performances.
First performed: 2002-06-07 - Calvin Theatre, Northampton, MA, USA.
Most recently performed: 2002-06-12 - 9:30 Club, Washington, DC, USA.

Notes

This song was performed by Jack Black, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Andy Garcia, Brittany Murphy and Andy Dick for the MTV Movie Awards 2002.

Ben was sent the lyrics, and Ben Folds wrote the music.