Army (live at the Roseland Ballroom)

Original Artist: Ben Folds

(This one goes out to anyone who actually signed up and is - has gone to the armed forces. Thanks a lot. I, I, I tried. I went down, I went down to the recruting center and I talked to them, and I thought about it, but at the end of the day, I think I was genetically inclined to be a musician. We- we've got enought people in here to get a bitchen horn section, so let's cut the audience down the middle. This side saxaphones, this side's trumpets. This side goes [sings army sax part], this sides [sings army trumpet parts].)

well, I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
and I thought, "yeah, there's a first for everything"
so I took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only 15 grand
spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead

grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at Chick-fil-A
citing artistic differences
the band broke up in May
and in June reformed without me
and they got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
and hung my head in shame
oh no

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

woah, I think I'll write a screenplay
woah, I think I'll take it to L.A.
woah, I think I'll get it done yesterday

Alright,
here we go
1
2
1 2 3

keep it up

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
(audience) God, please spare me more rejection!
cause my peers they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
trying to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about
your mommy

great singing! yeah

Notes

This song was recorded live at the Roseland Ballroom in New York on the 13th of June 2002.